Whispersfrommyheart's Blog

Purpose out of Tragedy

Posted on: April 29, 2013

I am an over – comer. 

Through the struggles of a traumatic childhood and an abusive marriage, and entering another abusive, albeit brief, relationship 13 years later, I discovered a set of attitudes and mindsets that had conditioned me to accept abuse as a normal circumstance of my life. 

These attitudes and mindsets had been taught to me as a 7 year old, and continued to be enforced throughout adolescence as a victim of childhood sexual assault.  The circumstances of my childhood/adolescence carried over into my adult life and continued to be the driving force behind my actions and reactions.  After my second failed relationship, a wonderful thing happened as a result.  God allowed me to finally understand the answer to my question, “Why?” 

The prevailing attitude of the heart is one that believes what the lie teaches.  My abuse taught me a distorted perception of truth.  It gave me a false perception of value and worth, but since the circumstances of my life seemingly upheld what I percieved, I believed it to be a fact.  The Proverbs teach, “As a man thinketh within his heart, so he is.”  Or in modern day language, “You are what you think.”  Unfortunately statistics prove that 1 in 3 girls will be, or has already been sexually assaulted by the time she reaches 18 years of age.  That is a staggering figure, and that doesn’t even include those assaults that go unreported.  My own assault had crippled me emotionally, as well as spiritually, for well over 30 years, and robbed me of some valuable things; the right to remain innocent and the right to have a childhood. 

The truth is some of these women who are labeled, “Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Assault” will seek help in one form or fashion. Sadly, and realistically, many of these women will never find release from the past.  They will continue to fill the pews in their prospective sanctuaries on Sunday mornings with a smile pasted on their face, while inside they wonder what is so wrong with them that they are kept an arms length away from God.  Like the woman with an issue of blood for 12 years, these women will continue to believe they are unclean, and unworthy, of God’s love and help. 

My purpose is not to simply bring up horrible memories from the past, but to simply bring the promise of hope for those who remain locked in the emotional prisons of their past abuse.  To declare their freedom, here and now, from those things that keep them shackled to the past emotions.  My purpose is to let women know their lives are worth so much more than just what they can do for someone else.  My purpose is to inform women they can find freedom from the past, not just a cover-up.  My purpose is to bring women into health and healing within their hearts, minds, and souls so that they too can understand who they are in Christ Jesus, how much their Heavenly Father loves them and how much God does care about what took place in their childhood.  I am here to tell them the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

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