Whispersfrommyheart's Blog

My Heart Is Wounded

Posted on: October 24, 2013

Psalm 109:22 “For I am afflicted and needy; my heart is wounded within me. (NASB)

I don’t believe there is a single human being on the face of the earth, who can say, “My heart has not been wounded.” Sometime, throughout our lives, someone, somewhere, will do something or say something that affects us deeply. So deep, our hearts feel the impact of their action.

In the Hebrew, the word used for wounded in this verse is “Chalal” and it literally means, one has pierced my heart.

The Psalmist cried out to God in the middle of pain and anguish. Saul was after him. He wanted David dead. Ahithophel, David’s trusted friend and advisor, betrayed him in favor of Absalom. He knew God’s favor was on him. David did what he thought God wanted him to do, and yet, horrible things happened to him. He was so wounded of heart that he prayed for God to repay them. Sure, David offered several suggestions in verses 6-13, and again in verses 19, 20 and 29. “Here is what you need to do God… cut him off from the face of the earth… let his descendants be cut off… may there be no memory of him… may a curse be attached to him…”

Harsh?

Maybe not.

David was being afflicted from every side. He was at the end of his rope. Saul hunted him to kill him. His heart hurt over his friend’s betrayal. He was starving. His body was weak from lack of nourishment. David needed help, and he needed it now!

He spoke out of his wounds.

I think about the prayers I prayed before my wounded (pierced) heart was healed. Many times I, too, prayed for curses to be on my abusers. I prayed for their demise. If I could have hunted some of them down, I would have. I wanted more than just their descendants to be cut off… and I wanted to be the one to do it. I not only informed God how he should “repay” them, I fantasized ways of how I could repay them.

I spoke from my wounds.

I think we all do that.

Proverbs 4:23 tells us to guard our hearts for out of them flow the issues of life.
In my book, Whispers From My Heart – Emotional and Spiritual Healing from Childhood Sexual Assault, Proverbs 4:23 is a key element. Childhood sexual assault creates a number of issues that overrun a person’s heart. Those issues are life altering. They drive our emotions. The afflict us. Make us needy. They flow out of our hearts and affect everything we do. We are weak. And, we know there is only one who can truly help us. One who can save.

David called out to God in his time of need.

In verse 20 of Psalm 109, David prays, “May the Lord repay my accusers in this way, those who say evil things about me! “ Again, in verse 26, “Help me, O Lord my God! Because you are faithful to me, deliver me!” David knows God is his source. His hope. His help. Notice that David acknowledges God as the one who repays. Not David. He knows the faithfulness of God to deliver him, and he counts on it.

We can each take a lesson from David. No matter what we have been through. Whether we have been sexually abused, maligned, betrayed, misused, lied to, or cheated on… no matter what, God is the one who can restore us when we are needy and afflicted, and he is the only one who can heal us when our heart is pierced within us.

Psalm 109:22 “For I am afflicted and needy; my heart is wounded within me. … 26 “Help me, O Lord my God! Because you are faithful to me, deliver me!

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4 Responses to "My Heart Is Wounded"

I can’t count the times I’ve prayed this prayer with David: “For I am afflicted and needy; my heart is wounded within me. … “Help me, O Lord my God! Because you are faithful to me, deliver me!”

I followed your link from my son’s blog, Chris Martin Writes. And I’m very glad I did. I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. It has taken many years of healing, but our Lord is truly faithful.

Wrapped with you in Jesus

It’s a pleasure to meet you!
Your son writes so well! He had me in tears this morning!

I will check out your blog, and please, if you have something to share let me know! I love having input from others!

Actually I’m reading a book this week that you might be interested in. Someone just brought it to my attention a few days ago. I’d never heard of it, or the author, but it’s incredible, concerning faith and healing. The book is “The Real Faith for Healing” by Charles Price. I buy for my iPad from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007W34JWI/ref=oh_d__o00_details_o00__i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 (I’m not an affiliate)

I will check it out! Thanks!

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