Whispersfrommyheart's Blog

Posts Tagged ‘confusion

It’s just not fair!

How often have you said that? Me, I’ve said it so often I own the copyright! Not really, I’ve just said it many times in my life, especially when life became hard.

Why is it that things in life can be going along just fine, and suddenly, one thing goes wrong, like too much month at the end of your money, or the loss of a job and not being albe to pay the bills. I’ve experienced both quite recently.

The very first thought to run the gambit of my mind is how unfair life has been to me, (I have a masters degree in the college of hard knocks, and working on my Ph.D. in strugglenomics). I question why God allows me to continue to squeak out a living throughout life—I’ve been a single mother to three boys since October 1989 and life hasn’t been very easy raising three boys alone. I question why God wouldn’t help me rise above the poverty line. I question why everyone I know seems to be doing well and I continue to struggle just to make ends meet.

Why me?

That’s another question that worms its way into my thoughts. Why is it always me?

When I’m in the middle of a particular hardship, it’s hard to see past the turmoil to the other side. I can’t see the strength and character this particular trial will produce because I’m wrapped up in the here and now. I’m focused on the problem I am facing and not on what that problem will accomplish in the spiritual realm.

Let’s face it, no one likes to face difficulties. Wouldn’t we rather have life happen to us with ease, with little discomfort and have every day filled with happiness? Of course we would, but life isn’t like that, is it?

No. It sure isn’t.

Life is full of struggles that won’t seem very fair, and it will continue to be so. God allows hardships in our lives to strengthen our walk with him. To break our dependence on things, and turn our dependence onto him and him alone. Trails are never to punish us, but to prove us—to provide evidence of our faith in God.

If you or someone you know is facing a tough situation right now, hold on! And remember, God is still in control. He is faithful and will not leave you on your own. He delights in watching your faith and character develop.

He is with you.

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Photo taken in front of Parliament, Hull, Quebec, days after 9/11

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The darkness came within the night

And filled my heart with fears;

Removing boundaries of life

In pain, confusion, tears.

 

The trust and faith of innocence

He shattered to the core;

And in its place the lie revealed

The guilt and shame I bore.

 

Throughout the years the bricks were set,

The wall was built to hide;

The trembling, hurting, dying soul

The lie had sealed inside.

 

Marked by a smile to hide behind

So no one had to see;

This ravaged soul of brokenness

The wounded child in me.

 

Then anger raged within my heart

No faith was found in me;

This hardened heart just couldn’t trust

The God I could not see.

 

But Mercy heard and Mercy saw

He grieved; He mourned; He wept;

For buried in the tomb He saw

The memories that slept.

 

And evil danced a happy dance

The lie, he thought had won;

The soul he stole away from God

Left tattered and undone.

 

And Mercy heard and Mercy saw

He wept; He grieved again;

And called the little girl within

This woman stained by sin

 

I know the plans I have for you”

I heard the Lord God say;

“What Satan meant for evil, child

I’ll use for good this day.”

 

“The ancient ruins will be rebuilt

And restoration true;

And all, once lost, will be restored

Behold, all things are new.”

 

Then evils laughter turned to screams

As chains began to fall;

The yokes and bondage’s released

For Blood had covered all.

 

“For Satan comes to kill, and steal”

Destruction is his game;

Determined to convince the soul

“Unworthy,” “You’re to blame.”

 

But God in mercy comforted

Renewed my heart and mind;

Now with the comfort I’ve received

No child is left behind.

 

You knew him once upon a time

So many years ago;

He offered you his friendship but,

Dear Daddy, did you know?

 

One night he led me into hell

With terror to bestow;

And stole your daughter’s innocence

Dear Daddy, did you know?

 

That night I pleaded; terrified

Oh please, don’t make me go;

You said “Enough! It’s settled now.”

Dear Daddy, did you know?

 

I didn’t want to go there but

I went there anyway;

Endured the pain and agony

Afraid of what you’d say.

 

I didn’t call when he was done

Nor think that you would come;

Or want to save your little girl

Now broken and undone.

 

I’ve often wondered through the years

Why Daddy didn’t see;

The fear that was so obvious

And cries that came from me. 

 

And how could Daddy never see

His daughter’s soul had died?

Behavior; attitudes that changed

Was evidence denied?

 

I’ve held this anger in my heart

Since I was only eight;

I’ve blamed you Dad for everything

And given in to hate.

 

 

Realities of what you said

Have echoed through my mind;

Became the ache of memories

Transcending years of time.

 

But Daddy there is something else

I want for you to know;

Despite the pain and suffering

Compassions seed has grown.

 

My Father Who’s in heaven has

Redeemed my ruined past;

He taught me how to love; forgive

And walk through life at last.

 

There’s one more thing that you must know

Straight from your daughters heart;

If I’m to bridge the gap at all

Today’s the day to start.

 

I’ve chosen to release you from

Responsibilities;

That once demanded justice for

The shame inside of me.

 

And with release I now forgive

Your words of long ago;

The secret of my troubled past

Dear Daddy, now you know.

 


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