Whispersfrommyheart's Blog

Posts Tagged ‘recall

Do you think God speaks to us through dreams?

If he does, then why can’t we remember most of them?

Scientific research tells us why we can recall some of our dreams, but, it doesn’t clue us in to whether God uses dreams to speak to our hearts.

There are very few dreams I can remember with great detail. I recall bits and pieces of a few others, but most of my dreams are lost in oblivion once I wake up. However, there is one dream, even today, that I can recall as if I just dreamed it last night.

I had a bystander’s view of myself looking into a mirror.

Webworms—what I call Silk-worms—had nested in my hair. They had spun their silken webs; so much so, my hair was no longer visible.   I ran to the bathroom and hung my head over the tub. I grabbed a comb in one hand and the shower head in the other in an attempt to rake and rinse the worms, and their webs, out. But, as I combed, I smashed the worms.  I kept trying, and trying, but, the more I tried, the worse my hair became. The worms kept multiplying, and the more they multiplied, the nastier my hair became. I became frustrated with the sticky, gooey, matted mess that covered my beautiful blonde hair.  I couldn’t see it at all, just the nasty, dark smelly mess from the worms. I put down the comb and began to let the water run over my hair. As I rinsed, the water in the tub began to fill up. As I looked, the water began to turn dark and murky. Bits and pieces of Webworms and shreds of silken web floated on top of the water. I kept letting the water flow over my hair until all of the worms and their webs were gone from my hair, and the water became clear.

For a long time I did not know what this dream meant. It weighed on my heart for months. And then, late one summer day, as I walked along the Tunnel Hill Bike Trail in Vienna, Illinois, God ordained an object lesson for me.

I came across a young Oak tree web worms were just beginning to take over. There were several silken nests spread throughout the branches. I began to think about how destructive these insects were to a healthy tree. The caterpillars had spun their webs and enclosed the tips of the branches. Inside of the web, they feasted on the foliage of the tree. When they ran out of food in one web, they encased another branch and continued eating. Webworms have been known to cover an entire tree making it unsightly. The beauty of the tree can no longer be seen or appreciated because it is hidden. The worms have also been known to strip all the foliage off of a tree within a few weeks, and once they strip one tree, they move on to the next. According to the experts, while their attacks defoliate a tree, the damage is not significant, as the foliage will return the following year.

I pondered that little Oak as I walked. As I thought about it, God suddenly reminded me of the dream. Immediately, I understood the correlation between the assault of the silk worms on that young Oak and the spiritual assault that had taken place in my own life.

Just like the caterpillar’s webs covering the beauty of that little Oak tree, so, too, the lies of sexual assault covered me. There were webs of lust and confusion weaved throughout my childhood. A web of unworthiness embedded into my heart, and webs of emotional, and psychological, lies hiding my true identity. The real me—a redeemed, blood bought daughter of the Most High God—was there, but I was undetectable beneath the webs that had been so carefully woven to conceal me.

I understood my feeble attempts to “fix” what was wrong in my life—represented by the comb in my hand—added to the gunk that was already there. Each time I tried to comb the Silkworms out, I made a bigger mess. The moment I applied just water—representing the work of the Holy Spirit—the worms washed out, and the webs were gone.

The difference between real life and my dream is that the foliage eaten by the Silkworms will return the next year (unless disease hits the tree), but when the true beauty of a life, redeemed by Christ, is hidden beneath the tangled webs of the enemy’s assault, sometimes it can take a lifetime before the beauty of that life can emerge.

Be blessed and walk in truth today!


I have never been one to remember dates. Oh, I remember birthdays and anniversaries, but other dates–like the day I got my first car or the day I learned how to drive–I do not recall.  I can tell you the approximate age I was during these milestones, but the date itself has been lost to File 13.

I do remember my first boyfriend ‘Jimmy’, tall (this is important since I’ve always been the tallest girl in the county).  We lived in Madison, Virginia on a one hundred acre farm and I was around 12 years old.  Jimmy was too old for me, but I didn’t look like an adolescent, I looked like I was 16.  But, do I remember the date we broke up? No, but I remember the hurt and anger I felt, and I was only 13 at the time.  I could do the math and give you the year, but who really cares that Jimmy broke my heart way back in 1976?  I’m sure you don’t.

There weren’t any major news stories or traumatic events, that I was aware of, with which to mark the passing of age in my life, so, as with most of my memories, I have to gauge the year with how old I think I was at the time.

There are a few things in my life that I can recall the exact date they happened, but only because some kind of event or special day occurred to help cement that date in my mind, like when I quit smoking on June 17, 2007 at approximately 11:30 a.m.

Woo-hoo, smoke free! I had tried quitting so many times before–always promising, ‘When cigarettes get up to $3.00 a pack–believe it or not, I remember buying cigarettes when they cost $1.85–I’ll quit….when cigarettes get up to $3.50 a pack…$4.00…you get the idea.  My will power forgot to show up each time I tried to quit.

You should have seen me.  If I wanted a cigarette and couldn’t get one, I was a mess. My boys used to say I would chew their heads off. On one attempt to quit smoking I went about 3 days without a cigarette and chewed on anything and everyone in my path…at the end of the third day my mother bought a pack of cigarettes, slammed them down on the table and yelled, “NOW SMOKE!”  (I got the message and smoked).  I was a bear-cat to say the least, but one tiny hit of nicotine into my bloodstream and all was right with the world again.  I hate to admit that but it’s true, and you smokers know what I’m talking about. That, ‘ Want one, need one, gotta have one or I’m gona rip somebody’s head off” craving that stays with you all day long and even in your sleep!  But on that day, June 17, 2007 something different happened. I wasn’t even thinking about quitting. Actually, I was sitting in church on that Sunday morning listening to the Pastor speak on something completely not related to bad habits, but, during that altar call I just knew–that’s the only way to explain it, I had sudden knowledge–that my cigarettes were more important to me than my relationship with God…cigarettes had become an idol in my life; an idol God was asking me to lay down.  Father’s Day, 2007.

I also remember the day my marriage ended; October 17, 1989.  Now, you might think I’d remember that date because that was a traumatic event in my life.  Well, you could say that, but you’d be wrong.  While it was traumatic, the trauma of my divorce is not what has caused me to remember the day I left an abusive marriage.

In my minds eye I can see myself in the car, looking at my soon to be ex-husband, standing tall against a clear blue, cloudless sky telling me if I changed my mind I could always come back. I pulled out of Alameda California driving a loaded down station wagon, pulling a loaded down U-Haul trailer…because of the load on that little V-6 engine, the Mountains of California made it difficult for me to travel any faster than 45-mph, so it took an excruciating 8-Hours just to make it to So. Cal where I was going to pick up the southern route across the states!  By the time I pulled into a hotel, got my room and unloaded my 1 year old son and the cat–which I snuck into the room–(Oh, and I was also 5 months pregnant with our third son; son #1 was with grandparents while I made the move) I finally turn on the TV to find out how the World series between the San Fransisco Giants and the Oakland A’s was going only to find out that a massive earthquake had struck in the Oakland/SF area!

Those two events, the unusual World Series and the Earthquake have definitely embedded that date into my mind. What helps me always remember, if I do happen to forget, is the availability of information on the internet.  One click and I am back on memory lane.

Long story short–I remember faces more than I remember names, and events more than dates…but then, I’ve been told I’m weird too.

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