Whispersfrommyheart's Blog

Posts Tagged ‘whispers

Pain.

Sorrow.

Heartache.

Tears.

Many of us have experienced these things at one time or another during our lifetime.

We’ve prayed, and have not received an answer. We have confessed our faith, and then experienced loss during our first trimester; the child we so desperately wanted. We’ve believed, and watched our spouse lose their battle with cancer.

Every day, throughout the entire world, people suffer. Most of us turn our eyes heavenward and ask the question; “Why?”

“Why me?”

“What have I done to deserve this?”

“Why is God punishing me?”

Each of us has had these thoughts enter our mind. It is part of human nature to want an answer for the things that bring us such pain. To validate it and to give it purpose. We do not want our suffering to go unnoticed.

But is God the cause?

Has God orchestrated events that create pain just to teach us a lesson? Would he cause heartache in order for us to grow? I believe God is very much aware of the circumstances that touch our lives, and he allows them to happen. I don’t pretend to understand the reason fully, but I will attempt to offer some explanation.

We live in a world that is fallen from the original glory in which God created it to be. Because of sin, even the earth groans underneath its weight. As long as this is true, there will continue to be symptoms of sin; i.e. sorrow, pain, heartache and tears.

Our world will continue to fall apart. Our hopes will continue to be shattered. We will experience death and destruction in various forms until God calls us home, where the stains of this world can no longer touch us, or, Jesus comes back, and the corruptible puts on the incorruptible.

God never promised us a life free from sorrow or pain. What he did promise is that he would always be with us. He promised to be there in the bad times, just as he is in the good. We can count on him.

Jesus reminds us we are not of this world. The symptoms of this world may touch our lives—such as the loss of a baby during pregnancy, or in my case, rape and molestation—however, those symptoms do not have the right to touch our soul.

Forgive.

Forgiveness goes both ways. God forgives us as we forgive him. I know it sounds weird to say, “God, I forgive you,” but, in our unanswered questions is the emotion of anger. We hold anger toward God because he did not protect us from pain. Our anger rages for the loss we have experienced. In that anger is ill will. We feel like God owes us something and we’re angry because he doesn’t pay up. Forgiveness relinquishes that “right of repayment” we feel we are owed for our suffering.

Romans 8:28 reminds us that God causes all things to work together for good to all who love him and are called according to his purpose” (NKJV)

The pain we experience, though it feels like the end of the world, is not the end. It is the beginning of the rest of your faith walk. It is at this cross road, if you chose to walk forward, that your faith, rooted and grounded in a faith that could only be possible by the things you suffered.

Are you still holding on to God?

Have you entrusted your future to his hands?

If you aren’t there yet, don’t worry. There are still processes you have to go through, emotions you need to vent, but in the end, where will you go?

One verse resonated with me through the years of my struggle.

“Where else can we go, LORD, for you have the words of life.”

Peter uttered those words after following Jesus became hard to take; after the crowds, disillusioned by his words, abandoned him. Jesus asked the twelve, “And what about you?” (See John 6:60-68).

He still asks the same question today.

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I’m not sure how it all began really. I didn’t start on this journey having a love affair with the written word.  As a matter of fact, I hated English.  As a high school student, I spent all four years in one semester of Freshman English.  FOUR YEARS!!!  On the last day of Freshman English in my Senior year, the teacher signed my yearbook, “You finally memorized the semester!”  His remarks didn’t boost my self esteem one bit!

All throughout my high school career I came to dread whatever English class I was forced to take in order to earn my diploma.  But, in my Senior year, Greek Mythology came along and I loved it!  I soared through that class with such speed–and top of the class grades I might add–that I even scared myself!  Thinking back, I connected more with the stories–given my vivid imagination–than I did with the structure of each sentence that made up the story.  I am still like that today. I would rather read something that has meaning than I would discover how the sentences are structured and why. Oh so BORING!!!

I may never get the sentence structured exactly right (that’s why Editors get the big bucks!), but I have a need to write.  Writing saved me.  It has given me an outlet to express the words that flow through my heart.  It gives me the ability to tell my story.  It gives me purpose.

Words tend to get jumbled up and misspoken when they pass through my lips.  I can clearly hear them in my head, but for some reason, once they roll off the tongue the words don’t seem to be as convincing as when I first thought them.  Emotions seem to be the driving force behind the length of the words I speak.  Shyness tends to decrease the amount of words, while anger and frustration tend to increase the amount of [uncontrolled] words that fly out of my mouth. Joy and sorrow also have a way of increasing and decreasing my words, but in each instance, the heart of what I want to say is missing.  That is what writing is to me–the heart of my words.

You get a glimpse of my heart, whether it is one of my poems or my first book ‘Whispers From My Heart’ which was published in October of 2009.  Writing tells the story that needs to be told; connecting with the heart of the one who reads.

As you read, don’t be too judgmental of my writing skills. Read the words with your heart open and hear what I have to say…you just might see that you are not alone.


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